Duty vs Desire: the Mark Sanford story

I feel bad for Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina. Yes, I know, he is kinda weird and self-absorbed. I mean, this is a fella who had to be compelled by his State’s supreme court to accept Obama’s stimulus money – all owing to an objection he made for quirky ideological reasons.

Sanford is also a little silly for thinking he could go AWOL all of 8 days, while visiting his sweetheart in Argentina. What was his story again? Hiking in the Appalachian Trail? The guy probably doesn’t have his faculties together with him.

Except that that is precisely what makes him intriguing. By his own account, he developed an 8 year friendship with this Argentinean woman quite “innocently.” See http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/23/sanfords-story-questioned_n_219809.html. They bonded around pain: she was contemplating divorcing her husband at the time and he offered counsel. Over the years (presumably by email), they provided each other mutual support in life’s challenges. She was his sounding board, outside of South Carolina politics, his wife and 4 boys. This woman many hundreds of miles away, allowed him to escape his reality. They morphed into an intimate relationship over the last year, meeting 3 times during this period.

The entire episode speaks volumes of the governor’s imagination. It takes a helluva lot to create a connection such as he did with his lady friend. No doubt, this woman was idealized into something that Sanford felt he needed in his life. It makes you wonder what was missing in his personal circumstances. What drove the construction of this costly desire? By the time of his press conference admitting the affair, Sanford was so besotted that he had risked his family, faith and the governorship of South Carolina.

In a classic way, this story is quite romantic. But Sanford, as governor of a state buffeted by a nasty recession, gets few of the allowances that could be made for ordinary citizens in a comparable situation. Mature adults appreciate that duty constantly butts up against desire. It is an exquisite balance that must be maintained, and sometimes, duty simply trumps desire. As a christian, Sanford of all people, should know that.

It’s always sad to witness anyone fail in a spectacular way. This is so, even if those who are falling from grace, are people who would not be as compassionate if the shoe were not on their own foot.